October 8th to 17th, 2010
This ride has been talked about for a while now. The mob that go to Coolangatta on holidays every September had decided to ride home, mostly to support Crew’y, who had himself convinced he couldn’t do it. So over a year or so people made their mind up to join the ride or stay home. It’s typical of those weak kneed bastards like Dave, Cameron, Baz and Cacka, they’re good on a bar stool but they are not here. Those who said yes were in for a good time, with a bit of riding thrown in.I decided to write my own diary this trip because I’m sick of Morton distorting the facts, he talks so much shit, so this is Don’s Story.
So the night before departure everyone had arrived, had a few beers, enjoyed a Chinese and prepared. I met a few for the first time, Sam, Maurie and Rob Tew, they seem like good blokes for people from “over the loaf”.
The ride team was Phil Stewart (Captain), Peter Brady, Ross Nugent, Neil Stoker, Martin Parker, Jack Gillard, Sam Gillard, Rob Tew, Kyle Walton, Gary Brown, Ray Ansell and me, Don Frame. The support crew were Maurie Doughan and Billy Metcalfe (although Billy claimed to be a rider)
Some had done a bit of bush riding and some tour riding so they seemed comfortable, confident that it was just another ride. Others, like Crewy, Doola and I were a bit unsure, how would 10 days straight pan out. It’s good that Billy’s riding days are over, he can be Mauries offsider in the support team.
I was also a bit apprehensive about the organisation, everyone said it would be OK but I must admit I was a bit nervous about how things would be run, nobody seemed to care about what was about to emerge. I felt even more uncomfortable when they elected the Chinaman as Captain, to me he’s a bit of a jelly back. How would he control this mob.
So I didn’t sleep well the night before we started, camped up at the Sands Hotel. I was also a bit nervous about how much this was going to cost. Still, I can travel cheap, chips and gravy will get me through.
Day 1 Coolangatta to Byron Bay
The Captain mustered us for an 8 O’clock departure. Wives, friends and kids gathered to wish us well. We had a photo taken on the border and we were off, 14 in all 12 riders and Billy and Maurie.
The day didn’t look good, heavy skies, rain looked like it wasn’t far off, but we were on an adventure, riding to Kurri.
Just out of Tweed I had the first near miss, on one wheel and dangerously close to going down. However I recovered and got back on two wheels.
There were a few hills getting out of town and once they were behind us we were on the Pacific Highway. That’s when the rain really pelted down, and then it got worse and just stayed that way. But you just have to ride on; in the car with Billy was not an option. If you went that way the agreement was you went naked, no thanks.
So we cranked on. Pretty soon we had a rhythm. From the back it was scary to see Doola and Tew’y leaning shoulder to shoulder talking footy. Two fairly inexperienced riders just millimetres apart, I might go round them and get away from the probable carnage.
The only reason to stop was to fix flats and that we did for Crew’y, in the flogging down rain on the highway, chewing on Doolas food supplies. Back on, we were off to Byron. Tew’y put a scare in the camp with a close call, a big stunt on one wheel in a roadside rut. But soon we were at the Rails Hotel for a beer, a burger and a rest. Not a bad morning considering the rain. Everyone was laughing and happy for the short break.
Go again, along the coast road through Lennox Head to Ballina. It was a bit drier and by the time we had completed the 96 ks we were pleased to be in. Even more pleased when Maurie had organised our room allocation, an esky full of beer and somewhere to lock up the bikes. Bill was off buying a new bike rack for his bike, he might ride another day. At least Maurie was honest enough to say he wasn’t riding.
We each had to contribute $400 to “the whippy” for accommodation and other costs, seeing the cold beer in the esky made it worth while already but I’ll keep a close eye on how the money gets spent.
Sitting around having a chat and a relax with a beer, Ross and Phil washing the clothes, things were good. Day one, the ride part was behind us. Just a stroll to the Australia Hotel for a beer, dinner, music and all was good in the world. We all put in some more cash for a betting syndicate, another job for me watching money. Some saw the band finish before retiring.
Tonight Doola made his first move on the Captain to become his vice captain. “Let’s get on the man’s beer, not that gay XXXX Gold. I will be your acolyte, Captain, I’ll get this mob under control” But the skipper knew better and just shook his head. Later that night the skipper awoke with a start as if something was in his room, he thought he could see or sense something. He vowed to get back on the Gold and went back to sleep.
Each day we would award “The Archibald Prize” named after William Archibald Metcalfe. Today it goes to Maurie for having our rooms and beers ready when we arrived. Great work old fella.
The Captain called for a 9.30 departure and breakfast at a café in the main street. I was surprised by his firm hand but everyone obeyed and we ate well.
But I found out that the Café was Sam’s call. His dad had wanted Maccas but Sam said ”I’m a Uni student, I get Maccas every day, dad will be shouting on this trip” Sam had the Big Breckie.
Then to the road. I was keen to get rolling so I got on the front with Wolfe early and set a solid pace. Waldo was up with us then the field strung out, they seemed content to find their way, not rush into the day too early. It is raining again but you just grit your teeth and ride.
By the 31k mark I was really struggling. Doola had created this mental hurdle of 31 ks for me and I was struggling to get through it. He smiled and enjoyed my pain. I recon he has had mental issued since his head injury, I’ll show him.
The road was narrow, too narrow in places but on we travelled. 4 ks out of Woodburn Jack had a wheel issue, his front hub is gone. He walks toward town as we ride on in the rain. A call to the support crew means they will look after Jack and we can ride on, after a pie that is.
We were stopped fixing flats on the road when Jack appeared on Billy’s bike. The support crew arrived shortly after him, a strange coincidence. Billy couldn’t wait to dob Jack in for not nudeing up in the support vehicle, Jack had made this rule himself and here he was flouting it.
We had a few more flats and by now Phil was pedalling a Tour De France cadence but only going 15 kph. We all tried to drag him up but all he would say was “I’m OK, just leave me” so we left him.
We all put our heads down and pushed on to Maclean in the rain, everyone feeling the cold penetrate to our bones. It was really cold, uncomfortable and the open flats into headwinds made it worse.
We all like a pub but the Argyle Hotel was something special today, a warm dry refuge with a friendly publican and a great barmaid. Heaven. It’s Saturday and the pub has no tab so the betting syndicate lives another day.
We all got cleaned up and Marty got his moisturiser mixed up with his shave gel. Then he walked down the street for a coffee and wondered where the suds were coming from, streaming down his face. He took another shower.
In dribs and drabs we meet in the bar and have a chat, clean and repair bikes and flats and generally get a bit relaxed.
The night turns out to be something special. Everyone gets a bit too excited. The Captain and Ross are on the man’s beer, Jack and Sam follow suit. Tew’y, Billy and Marty tackle a red wine drinkathon. Crew’y and the Wolfe and the Dog are on schooners of black with green ginger. “I used to drink this when I was 18” bragged Crew.
Over dinner, vice captain elections were held. Ross declined, Brown’y was sack after 10 minutes and Doolas nomination met with a retort from the Captain, “never, it will never happen while I am in charge”. Finally Jack was anointed, we all drank to his achievement and silently wondered what we had done.
The rum comes out, Brown’y gets far too loud. The bar maid calls quits at 1.30 and we go to my room for coffee, goanna wrestling and loud debate ‘till 3.30.
As the night unfolded it reminded me of that old song “The Monsters’ Holiday ”, they’re were gremlins and goblins, werewolves and zombies. What a night, there might be a price paid for this tomorrow.
Later that night in another room an apparition appeared to the Captain. A vision of a person not dead but not alive, statue like over his bed, he shook his head, rubbed his eyes but still the figure stood motionless, “A Zombie”. Then a call from the dark, it was Maurie’s voice: “Doola get back to bed” and the nightmare was over. Well, for that night anyway.
The Archibald Prize went to Brown’y giving up his single room to Jack so we could all sleep and for his loud performance at dinner. At one stage Wolfe had the Dogs hearing aides in, so much for canines having special hearing.
Day 3 Maclean to Grafton
We are awake at 5.45, thanks to Crew’y, what a pest. If that’s what he wants, we might as well be up too. After his annoying performance last night appraising 4 by 4s till 3.30 we might give him a bit of stick today.
A few of the boys are sporting strange carpet burns on their knees and regretting goanna wrestling,
I look outside and guess what, rain. Too bad, we will just have to see what happens.
Everyone enjoys a great breakfast at a café (Crews didn’t last) There were ensuite dramas and three former VC s still had knife wounds, some self inflicted.
It was very cold again and winds and rain took us to Grafton and a warm pub.
By this stage Crew’y is a real worry so we sent him off to bed for the rest of the day. I hope zombies don’t appear during the day.
Maurie sorted out prawns and fresh bread, so we eat, enjoy and meet the locals. We are on the punt again, the kitty is looking sicker by the minute but it has survived three days, remarkable. Marty and Sam wash the ride gear.
Doola is pressuring Jack for VC, working away in the background. But he’s forgotten the captain’s pledge, it will never happen and Doola does not lead by example.
Of course the Archie went to Crew for his performance over the last few days; we award him while he cowers in bed.
Day 4 Grafton to Coffs
Once again dismal weather, we bat on after a light breakfast. We are headed for a roadhouse about 36 ks out of town so it’s onto the highway with a reluctant, suffering Crew’y at the back. Marty hangs with him, helping him through but by the time we make the roadhouse, he’s gone. He had dug very deep to go 36 but was better off resting to recover.
Spirits lifted with the pace and the run to Coffs was finally a bit of fun. There were sprint attacks all over the place, lots of fun. Doola is learning from Phil each day, taking advice from the captain on riding and better ways to live your life, but would he ever be vice captain.
We passed our German friend again, riding with full gear, not for me. He had just overtaken the Captain and I might have even detected a smile.
Sam leaves us today; he’s a great young bloke and he rode strongly. We all enjoyed his company and maybe some of Uncle Billy’s life advice will come in handy some day. Pity he can’t stay with us.
And Billy was sent on a mission today. Get to a bike shop and get Jacks wheel fixed. So off he went with Morton’s instructions to get an AV22 ZX hub with nylon bushes. Apparently the bike shop owner was a bit perplexed and Billy slowly twigged to the set up. Maurie enjoyed the scam.
More flats today to the Dog, Kyle and Don.The washing has become a routine by now and Crew’y gets to work. He should be fresh and it keeps him out of the pub.
The Archie to Bill for his bike shop stunt.
Day 5 Coffs to Nambucca
A sunny pleasant start, wow that’s a change.
We all walk to Breky at the surf club, relax and enjoy.
The Dog and I are suffering from the $2 middy fever but how could I resist such cheap beer. They say I’m tight, I just like a bargain. This morning I am a bit slow, until the Captain medicated me at 31 ks.
Then I am off again. For once we cast a shadow on the ground, the sun is really out. Everybody brought their guns today and the pace is on. The surface is smooth and fast today so it’s all sprint efforts, chases or the ever faithful option of riding up the back with Phil.
We had morning tea on the Kalang River
Phil’s mate Chuck arrives and spent some time with us.
Another fast push, maybe even a sprint to the White Albatross caravan park.
We all shower and share a few beers, a BBQ and a relaxing afternoon. Great work again Maurier and Billy, having everything we need on hand. Billy actually rode today, 10 ks out of Nambucca he got on his bike and enjoyed a casual pedal to town, waving to the passers by.
After a casual evening at the V Wall pub, cabin 32 is a crowded house, and late at night Chuck has an encounter with the Zombie, that shouldn't worry a Cardiff
The Archibald today went to Chuck, the cycling stalker. The Captain and Chuck entertained us with stories tall and true from Cardiff Cardiff
Day 6 Nambucca to Crescent
The roadhouse breaky does the trick. Then a surprise. A Cudgen bike shop owner told the boys about putting a cabbage leaf under our helmet on hot days. Today its hot and we all test the cabbage. It’s getting weirder by the day. It looked quite good on Waldo.
The team veers off the highway to Smithtown and then Gladstone
A big surprise for the last 20 to Crescent Heads, Billy is on his bike. The agreement is, all stick together and enjoy the rest of the day. Yeah sure. First Ray goes off the front, then Tew’y and Donny can’t resist. We pack up at a corner and Billy goes out as well. The rest of us just play a bit and roll in to camp. We had backed a horse called Assertive Bill yesterday, and today he lived up to it.
In camp Crewy
We spent an afternoon having a beer, fixing bikes, replacing Tew’ys spokes and enduring more punting failures. But it was all good. I had a few cold ones with the Dog and hadn’t realised he was a washed up rock and roll base player. He seems to be carrying scars, as all former rock stars do. Now I understand how he lost his hearing.
The Country Club put on a nice Chinese for dinner, we are all fed and watered. We all turn in after veranda beers.
The Archibald today went to Tew’y for his uncatchable breakaway, even if it was a selfish endeavour, got in early to claim a double bed, but he rides well for a rather big man.
Day 7 Crescent to Port
Crew’y was on the ground again with the Captain smirking, and saying he might be better off in the car with Laurel and Hardy.
Yesterday all the locals said no to the coast road, ‘you cant get through, you’ll have to carry 6 ks in the sand dunes”. But the Captain said, we ride on and dispel the myth. It was quite a nice ride and the sand only lasted about half a k. The Mongrels overcame it and howled out the other end.
Bill sprinted off the front on the leg to the ferry only to be gathered in just as we reached the ferry and enjoyed the beers Maurie delivered. Sitting on the grass or in the bus shelter it was a real holiday. We missed five or six ferries but once trhe beer ran out we moved on.
Jack had been advised not to drink the Plomer water but did anyway, surprise surprise. He came out in some sweat pimples that Tew’y convinced him was Golden Staph and he hit the wall. Chemists, Doctors and Julie were all called before he exited for home. The Dog and Jack had abandoned the tour in mysterious circumstances.
Bill was buoyant, challenging again once we were on the Port side of the ferry. He should be fresh. We were soon in another pub, the Port Macquarie Hotel, showered, fed and relaxed. Tew’y did the washing, I think he washed the clothes in the Hastings River by the look of them. Others strolled around town having coffee
We dribbled into the bar and met a mate, Bear. Ross finally accepted the Vice Captain role, his third self nomination, he had been working on Phil in the background. Doola simmered. Phil also survived a coup attempt by a rebel Wolfe. Dave Bennett is updated again, the boys have enjoyed making sure he knows what he missed but could he cut the mustard if he was here.
The Archie went to Nuge for his humble VC babbling acceptance speech, he mentioned that the prospect of Doola was looming. One day it will be mine said Pete. But has he got the back bone.
Day 8 Port
The Captain called for an early start and we were led out by a new Vice Captain en route to maccas just out of town. Who would follow a blind man, well lots of people. Morton took us round and around and around again. A local cabbie seemed most upset but Tew’y took the lead and steered us to breakfast at Maccas.
Then we pushed south on the highway with a tailwind, not an ordinary one, a perfect one. Speed became the order of the day and some sat on 50 kph on the flat for a while. Some wilted so we backed off to 45, great mountain bike stuff. A little rain about 10 ks out of camp didn’t worry anybody.
Maurie and Billy have the room allocation and arrival stuff down pat, it makes a difference to get in and settled efficiently. You can be warm and dry and in the pub.
I am rooming with Ross, the Babler. Dave and Cameron and Cack are always warning me not to believe half of the crap he talks but I’m not so sure and I soak up the stories of how he should be captain, maybe next time.
Tew’y has had a few business issues pop up so today he leaves for home. Veronica picks him up and has to look twice, her skinny little five eighth might be back. We might keep our eye on the Herald to see what he’s up to.
All up a super fast day of 28.1 kph, remarkable on mountain bikes
Doola has had a big campaign and we have all been waiting for him to crack, it happened today. He left half a schooner on the bar and went to bed before dark, he is human. I had a real good night with the Wolfe, more education.
Kyle seemed to like Taree, got friendly with exotic dancers and karaoke singers and seemed quite happy.
The pub was quite good but the noise went on until the early morning. Riders needing sleep complained a bit but others including the support crew seemed to fit in.
Archie to Kyle for his services to the entertainment industry
Day 9 Taree to Buladelah
Another early start was ordered by the Captain, he really has surprised me with his ability to lead without giving any specific instructions. Brecky at a café and on the road. Yesterday was a kind day but today we face a headwind, quite strong and it looks determined. There was glass everywhere going out of town but for once nobody flats.
It was gruelling to Coolongolook, just plain hard. We stopped for a gather up and a rest. On departing Doola had a catastrophic wheel failure, blew the side out of his wheel. A quarter of his rim was destroyed. Ring the support crew and get a spare bike, what would we do without them. Billy’s bike will need its first service after this trip. Even though they were in Bulahdelah on their second beer they returned to save the day.
So Doola was on Billy’s silver stallion and we were away again. Billy will have to wait for another day to ride.
The last 30 ks to camp was the hardest on tour for some. Cracks began to appear, I was in a bad place, talking of getting off. After a few soothing words I regained my composure and completed a hard 74 ks
It’s a great pub with a great atmosphere and we are nearly home. One big $200 plunge saw the kitty expire.
So a lazy afternoon, having a beer or lazing about. The boys have been torturing me, threatening to room me with Doola, I just don’t want to do that. I’m scared of Zombies. But in the end we all had our own rooms for the night. Dinner was great and everyone expressed their feelings about the ride. Captain Jellyback said what happens on tour stays on tour. I hope that’s right for his “bring back the scrum” campaign.
Archibald goes to everyone who completed a tough day
Day 10 Buladelah to Kurri
Sunshine greets us. Spirits are up at breakfast and we are off. Then the wind joined us, not as strong as yesterday but it was ever present. 25 ks out Bill and Maurie are there to greet us as usual. They supply the little things we need for the rest of the day. At 31 ks Doolas hex on me finally worked and I hit the wall, hard. Captain Jellyyback told me to harden up, fancy him talking, what a joke. We met the support crew again at 40 and said goodbye to Maurie a great bloke and wonderful support.
Wolfe and Waldo rode strongly while Marty had his hands full coaxing me along, I went on like a big girl. It seemed to work and we soon overtook the front to lead into Heatherbrae Maccas for a snack. It was nice to dust Wolfe and Waldo just one more time.
Crew’y had fans along the road and you could see his satisfaction with his achievement
The pack stayed close to try to stop the Skipper falling out the back again but his double quarter pounder kicked in and he finished riding strongly into Dave Bennet’s place at Stanford where Billy got on to lead us the last 500 meters, what a man. Wives friends and family greeted us at the station and it was all over, a great trip.
All up, this was a unique trip. We had some very difficult conditions early on, the rain was relentless. But you get through that. We also had some strong winds at times. But we had good days as well, the personal test was really worth it and the great mates that toured together really had a great time. I'de do it all again tomorrow, maybe with a different captain.
All up, this was a unique trip. We had some very difficult conditions early on, the rain was relentless. But you get through that. We also had some strong winds at times. But we had good days as well, the personal test was really worth it and the great mates that toured together really had a great time. I'de do it all again tomorrow, maybe with a different captain.
Archie to Marty for getting me through the day and for his snipping behaviour all tour. The only thing he didn't teach me was how to be a bit looser with cash, I remained tight to the end.
2010 Coolangatta to Kurri Kurri | ||||||||||
Date | From To | Ks | Cum | Ride Time | Max | Average | ||||
Day 1 | Friday October 8, 2010 | Coolangatta | Ballina | 96 | 96 | 4.47 | 48 | 20.90 | ||
Day 2 | Saturday October 9, 2010 | Ballina | Maclean | 90 | 186 | 3.59 | 41 | 22.50 | ||
Day 3 | Sunday October 10, 2010 | Maclean | Grafton | 45 | 231 | 2.09 | 31 | 20.90 | ||
Day 4 | Monday October 11, 2011 | Grafton | 85 | 316 | 4.00 | 49 | 21.20 | |||
Day 5 | Tuesday October 12, 2010 | Nambucca | 56 | 372 | 2.30 | 50 | 22.50 | |||
Day 6 | Wednesday October 13, 2010 | Nambucca | Crescent Heads | 85 | 457 | 3.24 | 50 | 24.90 | ||
Day 7 | Thursday October 14, 2010 | Crescent Heads | Port | 40 | 497 | 2.05 | 43 | 18.50 | ||
Day 8 | Friday October 15, 2010 | Port | Taree | 85 | 582 | 2.55 | 50 | 28.10 | ||
Day 9 | Saturday October 16, 2010 | Taree | Bulladelah | 74 | 656 | 3.40 | 61 | 20.00 | ||
Day 10 | Sunday October17, 2010 | Bulladelah | Kurri | 102 | 758 | 4.57 | 44 | 20.70 | ||
Total | 758 | 22.00 | ||||||||
Daily Average | 76 | |||||||||
Average Speed | 22 | |||||||||
Total Hrs on Bike | 31.46 | |||||||||
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